Saturday, November 3, 2007

Mighty Mightor FAQs


FAQs with Mightor

Q: What's it like being so awesome?

A: I get this question a lot, and the only way I can answer it is with a question of my own--what's it like being not awesome? I wouldn't know, because I'm so awesome. But I'm sure it's not as awesome as being awesome.

Q: How can I become a superhero like you?

A: Face facts, you most likely will never be like me. Unless you happen to save the life of a strange hermit who rewards you with a super-powered club which grants you amazing powers. But even then, you have to have the same awesomeness gene that I have, and it's a rare gene. But on the bright side, you can be part of my street team and let people know how awesome I am and generally spread the word of my awesomness to those who don't know yet. And then I'll send you an autographed picture of me.

Q: What's it like living in prehistoric times?

A: I won't lie to you, it's no bed of roses having no electricity, no indoor plumbing and no ice cream. On the other hand, the ozone layer is intact and there are no cops, so you take the good with the bad.

Q: How can I get a massive physique like yours?

A: Sabertooth tiger wrestling for shoulders and triceps. Boulder lifting for back. Jumping over volcanoes for legs.

Q: Why is the adjective that is always used to describe you "mighty?" Why don't you have a cooler adjective?

A: All of the good adjectives were already taken by (less powerful) superheroes. Spider-Man is "amazing," the Hulk is "incredible," Iron Man is "invincible" and the X-Men are "uncanny." So you see, many of the cool adjectives were already used up. Though to be honest, I always liked Awesome Mightor, but alliteration is key to superheroes, and I needed a word that started with "M." It came down to either mighty or majestic. I picked mighty because it made me sound stronger; majestic, though cool, doesn't really convey how powerful I am, it just makes it sound like I am majestic like a bald eagle. Bald eagles are are not mighty, they are endangered, so I'd rather not be associated with them.

Q: What's the greatest feat of strength that you ever performed?

A: People make a big deal out of Superman flying around the Earth to reverse it's rotation. What many people don't realize is that the Earth used to have a second sun, which I punched with my massive fist and it exploded into a million pieces. Those million pieces are known to you as "stars."


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